剛剛才知道原來我前兩天的文章,被媒體(我也不知道是那個單位)拿來quote了,說我用千字博文罵盆景貓事件。
老實說,沒有看,也沒有興趣看,反正我們被斷章取義已是平常事,也沒什麼大不了。倒是證實了,大家對任何事情都真的喜歡看一半不看一半,自己用自己的角度去理解別人的意思。不求證,不深究,這就是我們世代人的做事方法。整篇文章,其實算寫的滿清楚,如果有看的朋友,也會知道我其實在說些什麼。也沒意圖多加解析。
沒有偏幫任何一方的企圖。大人有大人做得不足的地方,年青人們也有需要檢討的事情。
突然想起我在做十日談大學巡迴座談會時,也曾經在某學校親眼目睹一班很差勁的大學生,沒禮貌,不尊重人,台上有台上的一直講,台下也各自在嬉戲。當時也讓我很概嘆,為何我們的孩子們會變得如此沒質素,此情境,仍然記憶猶新。後來聽某老師說,現在的學生上課都是這個模樣,不喜歡的可以隨便中途離開,老師們也拿他們沒有辦法,有些甚至是默默放棄了。這些種種我聽了後覺得很可怕。
不過生氣過後,還是認為,教導小朋友,是需要耐性的,是需要給予機會的。儘管他們做得如何不好,懲罰他們是為了讓他們明白,不是純碎為了要他們難受,更不能因為他們一次的錯誤而永遠判他們死罪,更更不可以把他們放棄!
很明顯,發展現在的狀況,各個單位都有責任,家長們太緊張溺愛,老師面對家長指責變得無奈然後放棄管教,小朋友因此變本加厲。惡性循環。學校跟家庭本應該是站在同一個立場的,從何時開始他們竟然變了對立的位置,最終受害的只有卡在中間的小朋友們。
對不起,原諒我的嘮叨和重覆。不過這是我很急切地擔心和著急著的一些問題。
如果你仍然相信“孩子是未來的主人翁”,如果你仍然熱愛我們的地方,那麼,由衷地希望你們能認真地正視。
重溫一下,兩年前的歌。
我們不要再有下一個「維特效應」。
嗯,小孩子小的时候一定严加管教,教他怎样先成为一个人。之后才可放手让他选择自己的人生道路。 每个人长大以后也一样是变大变学,且会一直记得阿菇那句话:保持赤子之心,是最浪漫的事情。
現在的人都是這樣的啦~
勁點的就直接離開班
弱點的就在班裡睡覺
沒分別~
要學習的人越來越少了~
菇,我最近有接觸到一些85后和90后的菇徒。
I totally agree with you. I live in US and the kids here always talk about freedom. When I went to high school here, I remembered there’s a kid did not bring anything to class, no pens, nothing to write on. So, he asked the teacher for a pen and waited the teacher to bring it to him! I think freedom is good, but more importantly, they didn’t learn about respect.
I also know a couple who are both from HK and got doctorates here and they got a 7yo boy. They worry about his academic results more than anything. The kid only eat Mac & Cheese (Obvioulsy, the parents did not make him to try sth new.) Besides, the kid is the one who pick where to get dinner which usually he picks Wendy’s, burger king…etc… The kid doesn’t learn polite from their parents because their parents are not polite either…poor kid…he can be a better person
現代人不知是否太忙碌, 連看真人家文字的時間也沒有, 還是沒有獨立/具批判的思考能力, 只管跟著大勢去行, 就算你是寫得如何用心如何表明共不是所有事情也是”非黑即白”, 如何需要多角度去看事情, 部份執筆的人仍是毫不負責的斷章取義, 甚至是曲解人家的意思.
不過, 幸好, 這個世界仍然有人是用腦, 用眼, 用耳去留心及發現真相的.
相信你這裡就大有人在!
菇:
我今天看到這篇blog真的是找到了共鳴。因為就在昨晚,我在路上拉住一個跑向馬路撿球的小孩后,發生的一切讓我鬱悶了很久。先不說我把球撿回來他不懂得說先聲謝謝,更主要是我同學教育那小孩不要那樣跑出馬路的時候,他的回答竟是說那個球是另個小孩扔出的。小小年紀就被你言中了兩點沒禮貌and推卸責任。對,還有一點被你言中啦,那就是至始至終那個小孩的家長都沒有出現過,讓我更是無言啦!哎!
切身體會了你的擔憂后,讓我改變了之前的態度。一直以來我以為我能做的就是好好做好自己也許這就夠啦。可是今天我要很認真的向你請教,能不能傳授一些方法給像我一樣還沒有什麽影響力的成年人的。對於你所說的問題,我想我們都希望能盡到自己的一份力量。語言加行動的支持你之外,還有作為人對社會義不容辭的責任。
(ps:希望把簡體換成繁體之後,菇能看的方便,用你標准的普通話閱讀即可,哈哈)
看到這篇blog有點晚,也不知道菇會不會看到這個留言。不過我自己也會好好想想有什麽可以做的。嘿嘿~以菇傳授的是信念為導航~哈哈~~
我明點解我鍾意Ten Days In Mad House多過Heros喇,TDIMH放眼社會,H比較標榜自我
hocc Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 12:01 am
heroes, 並不是“標榜自我”呢。
我来试下新功能回复你 XD~~
看了多了,真的是不得不赞同你….这也是剩男剩女“流行”的原因之一。
一直覺得很多問題的根源就是在教育.但那真的是一個大事業..需要很多人不斷地努力.
欣賞你的態度..批判的眼光與獨立思考,也是我一直在努力的方向。
第一次留言,只想表達支持而已。
hocc Reply:
May 31st, 2010 at 11:39 pm
謝謝妳的表達,真重要。
人在生孩子之前應該好好思考下,能不能讓孩子健康成長,能不能教育好TA,能不能負好責。
現在太多人自己還沒成人就要“管理”下一代人,自己都負不了責就開始負責另一個人的一生。
都不負責,就都沒責任心了。
我沒這個勇氣和耐心去負責另一個人的一生,所以關於孩子,不僅要三思,要N思啊。。。
相信goo有了孩子肯定會好好負責任教導的。
始终相信,孩子不只是老妈身上的一块肉,还是我们的未来。
以前讀中學同大學時,差不多日日都逃學/走堂。 直至有一天我借去政附部門填表借錢交學費時,看見學費收據,除返回來才發覺我每走一次堂就白白浪費了五佰元。因為學費貴,兼且要還利息,再加上政府,校方及家人付出的心血和資源,從此之後就好好珍惜每一課。
希忘其他人看到這個回應也像我一樣,學會珍惜….
ah C~ 唔使太灰心, 原來香港都仲有D有上進心/乖/勤力 嘅港孩! 🙂
http://the-sun.on.cc/cnt/news/20100531/00407_036.html
看了你最近幾篇關於青少年的感想,寫得很好。
加油呀,我們都需要你繼續為我們發聲,
以一點的力量去完成別人認為不可能的事,撐你!
仁者見仁,智者見智吧,嚴重看好這粒菇,對教育子女有如此見解,將來定是位優秀的辣媽!哈!
附帶一提(跑題):小女子乃深中菇毒的80后一名,近日閑來反復回顧愛菇早期blogtv的錄影……
后遺癥(1)情人節那天的“好一朵迎春花”成日迴蕩于我耳畔,晚上一合眼便見素顏嫩菇那一排整齊的小白牙齒……由於思念過度終於神經衰弱,失眠ing
后遺癥(2)每日反復練習且不分場合胡亂運用何老師教的廣東潮語,例:媽媽要我去洗碗,我便皺眉同時身體後傾講:“唔系嘛 大佬”~~終于慘被媽媽揪耳朵
愛菇,小女子我誠心前來求解藥!
剛上小學那幾年,媽媽每天都要打我一頓,打到最後就變成一個在家坐沙發都噤若寒蟬的人。現在長大了,和媽媽之間始終有著無法修補的膈膜。不過卻很感激她,如果當年她不是用棍棒政策,而是用糖衣政策,也許現在的我是個嬌縱不堪的人。
現今的父母只懂得為孩子灌輸一切有關金錢的意識, 所有禮義廉恥、仁義道德全部棄置不教。小孩子學百樣技能, 為求的不是自己的興趣, 而是滿足父母的虛榮心及延續父母未完的夢想。
我成日聽D小朋友講:“阿媽教落, 識彈琴讀唔成書都可以搵到食!” 天呀! 連興趣班都要同錢掛鉤!! 林奕華說: “香港人頭腦簡單, 但心絲細密。” 完全明白! 香港人真是無時無刻都諗$$$$
阿詩, 我將會係9月25日至10月2 日係灣仔一間ART GALLERY 內攪個展覽, 展覽主題是『爸媽, 可破給我抖一抖!』一聽個主題就知道係講小朋友。這次展覽我會從小朋友的角度出發, 內容是諷刺父母如何給孩子編排“鐵人時間表” , “ 百技旁身” ,“求學絕對是求分數” 等謬行。
地址:灣仔道107-111號 慶邦樓 2樓 CHEZ ART
如你有時間的話, 我很希望你會上來看:)
這樣的學校, 這樣的父母, 難怪我們現在的小孩那麼的不知天高地厚.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, a simple 7 letter word which holds much complexity. We were taught to be respectful to parents, elders, siblings, and other people you meet along the way. The “Southern hospitality” in which people are respectful to everyone and takes their time to help one another, have seem to become an endangered trait. Has the hustle and bustle of city life turned Southern Hospitality into a prehistoric concept?
Personally the reason why I think people, of all ages, are disrespectful of others is because they think too much of themselves to actually take the time to listen to what other people have to say. Ever wonder why Youtube, or Blogs have become so popular? Maybe people have found their outlet where they can talk about whatever is on their mind without a care for another human being. I know this is quite an extreme reasoning for these sites, but you can’t deny that people are just full of themselves, just check out some of the self made videos.
I’ve seen many times in which kids are disrespectful to their parents, yelling and screaming, and at times even hitting their parents, until they get their way. Horrible isn’t it? Can’t they understand how much their parents have sacrificed to give them the life they have now? But if you took a closer look and see the interactions between their parents and the parent’s parents, you can see it’s a cycle. Can it be Karma? Or maybe kids these days can never really follow the saying “Do as I say not as I do”. Kids learn best by imitating. Imitation, in psychology, is one of the earliest steps in learning. Kids are just mirrors reflecting their surrounding environment. They do not know right from wrong, unless there is someone there to act as a true role model, demonstrating this concept. Then again are there anyone who is absolutely perfect, who can take on this role?
To change the mindset of kids or young adults these days, we must all take a part. First admit that no one is perfect, no matter how hard you try, you’re only human and humans make mistakes. Keep an open mind, parents do not have to be right all the time, sometimes admitting that you do not have an answer or you’ve made a mistake, takes more courage, and receives more respect then trying to “fake it till you make it”. Children will learn that it is ok to make a mistake, and making a mistake does not mean they are less worthy of being a person. Instead encourage them to take ownership of their mistakes, it takes a bigger man to own up to their mistakes. I think if we start by setting a good example, children and younger adults can and will soon follow in our footsteps.
I’m starting to sound like a fortune cookie, but let me leave you guys with this: Before trying to change the entire world…let’s start by taking small steps in changing our own lives.
講得好!!!!
首先,很感謝你對現時年青人的關心。
我當初會成為菇徒也是因為你對社會上各種不同人物的關心。
即使當時的Ten days in the madhouse沒有成為大熱的碟,我就是愛這樣的何韻詩。
說回正題,90後的我也是正處於水深火熱之中。
現在所謂的教育方式真的有效嗎?分數真的是我們學生的標誌?
想回初三時的我,因為那年是初中畢業,需要考上三年學過的所有東西;
問題是,初三所學的”知識”已經夠多了,還有加上初一初二的內容?說笑而已吧!
那年我很用功,每天每天拚命拚命地拿著書本背背背,結果,我拿了人生中的第一名。
說真的,我沒有太開心。
還記得那時班主任問我為了什麼而讀?我答不出來。
但我現在高二的我相信答案是”分數”兩字。
很可笑,只是一個數字而已,為何我可以廢寢忘食,不眠不休地追求它?
顯而易見地說出了時態的嚴重!
現時社會普遍的競爭大,導致身為學生的我們也難免受其影響,被老師灌輸一種變質的學習心態-分數是最重要的。
雖然老師們口口聲聲說品德成績缺一不可,但你們真的找到那個平衡點了嗎?
由初三到高二,我的成績一直下跌,由第一到現時的第六,但我沒有失望。
自問是對讀書感到無聊,沒有那把衝勁了!因為現時對我來說,音樂才是我的菜。
我花時間去練琴和教學生,雖然成績沒有以前的好,但我肯定這是我所”願意”的!
老師們口中所謂的”有用的知識”,是真的有用嗎?
去發掘學生們的興趣然後再培訓他們,這不是更事半功倍嗎?
連我也明白的”事實”,怎麼你們還不明白呢?
做別人的偶像, 要慎言慎行, 規行矩步, 即使是發表個人感受都要思前想後. 超級欣賞你的付出, 貢獻, 使命, 但願你不要給自己太大壓力…..
有件事想跟你分享, 我有一個星期六去了上環, 看見某大廈有一條長長的人龍, 好奇的我去看看, 原來是你開倉, 看見你的粉絲好有秩序的排隊, 見我眼望望, 還主動告知我該先去樓上取籌才排隊, 怕我排錯隊, 我被她的真誠和禮貌打動了, 我真的上去取籌後排隊(其實自己都想看看你賣什麼), 在排隊的時候, 我觀察到她們大部份都是安靜的看書/打機/玩電話, 沒有喧嘩, 而且當有人如我般眼望望, 都會得到樂意的溫馨提示, 你多年的努力真是值得的….很有”菇教”
而我就在很多年前受”她”影響, 知道要活在當下, 珍惜身邊人….
hocc Reply:
May 31st, 2010 at 4:46 pm
謝謝你告知,我很安慰。
hey goo, i teach at university in canada. what you encountered during your tour is quite common here as well. unless they are disruptive to class, there is really not much that we can do. since they are already in university, we can’t lecture them on how they should behave in class. sometimes i find it more effective to just joke about this in class and they will then behave.
in general, i think kids are given not only too much protection, but also too much freedom. they are rooted with the concept that if they are not treated equally, they should voice out their concerns. how alarming that in elementary schools here kids often say the word UNFAIR, but they don’t really understand the meaning behind it. the more hardworking ones deserve recognition, while others who don’t pay as much effort shouldn’t claim it’s unfair that they are not awarded. in many cases parents just think their kids are the victims without finding out what had really happened. the parents serve as bad role models telling their kids that they should fight for their so-called rights. self-reflection never come to their minds, so pathetic!
i so believe that if one is brought up in this way, the same goes to the later generations. it’s inevitable that some future teachers might also be one of the same kind, aaaaaaa…. i feel very sad….
nevertheless, there are always some good students that make my days cheerful! there’s still a long way for me to go~~~~
hocc Reply:
May 31st, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Yes, i think the parents nowadays give too much freedom too early in their kids’ life, that’s the main problem.
How can they know how to choose, when they can’t even seperate right from wrong.
I am sad too.
关于教育问题,我觉得最重要的是家庭教育,家长的一言一行都影响着孩子,不同的家庭教育出来的孩子是完全不一样的。现在的大多数家长都只顾做自己的事,忽略了和孩子思想上的交流沟通,只知道一味满足他们的物质需求,或者把自己的想法强加到孩子身上,根本就不知道孩子真正想要什么。一旦孩子成绩不好或在学校犯了错误,要么就是骂孩子,要么就是骂老师,根本不在自己身上找问题,觉得自己什么都是对的,根本没问题。所以拜托某些家长们,请在责怪自己的孩子时,先反思一下自己吧。孩子的未来,不仅仅是在学校,更重要是家长树立给孩子的榜样。